Quiddity, Distillation, Essence
Short essay on poem variations. How low can you go?
My recent creative convergence experiences have been highly introverted, so introverted that my friends likely wonder whether I vanished from the face of the earth. I wouldn’t know because I haven’t been in touch, but my truest of friends understand. That said, I have actually been quite in touch, just in a different way.
I’ve been visiting family, frequenting nature preserves, dropping in on poetry readings, drawing/watercoloring, and writing haiku and poems (which are peppered throughout my Substack Notes and on Hack Shack, my creative writing publication).
I’ve come to embrace my pendulum-swinging nature, drifting off into the realm of art and poetry and finding within it a relishing retreat.
Today, I share a writing practice both enjoyable and mind-boggling: distilling poems down to their very essence. The practice started out of a desire to post on the character-limited (300) platform, BlueSky. First, I would write a poem long-hand and long-form, and then whack and hack my way through the extra branches and brush to achieve a shorter version.
The practice has taught me to be more efficient. I have found ways to hone in on the poem’s essence by using unconventional punctuation, bending and twisting words, and deleting whole stanzas (often the first or second!).
This poetic quiddity has taught me to be efficient and selective without forgoing depth. In fact, I think sometimes I’m able to achieve greater depth the shorter the poem.
To illustrate, below are three versions of a poem inspired by today’s #VSS365 prompt “karma.” There is a long version, the BlueSky Version, and the “holy shit that’s short” version.
But, first, the visual, because for me, that’s often what comes first (before the words). I created this simple watercolor of tree and silhouette before even contemplating writing the poem below. The silhouette, an afterthought, became the inspiration for the poem.
Betwixt Me & Tree (Long Version)
Betwixt me and tree
I rough-chafe like peeling bark,
Thin-crinkle as brittle leaf,
Beat like heart-home for sparrows.
*
Soles tingle.
Mycorrhizal connectivity
Or last star blink?
*
I cannot distinguish -
*
Karmic (r)evolution
From cloudy dream.
*
A hazy view
Presents me to myself
From all sides.
*
The dark abyss
Glows a novel hue
Born of burnt earth and marine sky
*
Then, it comes,
Extinguished,
Life is dismissed.
Betwixt Me & Tree (BlueSky Version)
Betwixt Me & Tree “Holy Shit That’s Short” version
Karmic (r)evolution
Am I tree?
No answer,
I extinguish.
Reflections & Questions
My Reflections
I’ve been in a morose, morbid, existential crisis sort of mood for a lot of reasons - upcoming birthday (51), oldest child turned 18 in April, and a host of other changes and challenges. As a result, most of my poems have happily (I’m serious about that) been about death or transformation or longing.
The Betwixt Me & Tree poem really went to the heart of my current obsession with the meaning of life or the meaninglessness of it (hello Camus) and how to approach it. Naturally, I’m approaching it through art.
If you’re experiencing something similar and would like to share how you cope with middle age crises (I seem to be having quite a few over a long period of time), please do!
Questions for you!
I would love your input and feedback on the three versions.
What was superfluous in the long version?
What was missing in the BlueSky version?
Did I capture the quiddity of the sentiment in the Holy Shit That’s Shorter than Haiku version?
Please do share with me your long, medium, and short poem versions. I’m here to share my experience but most of all want to connect with and learn from you!
Upcoming
I’m heading to the Emily Dickinson homestead on Saturday, May 10th for the annual laying of daisies on her grave. Anyone else I know heading there? I look forward to posting about that experience on the other side.
More By Me…
If you liked this post and want to read more, I invite you to check out my post on live-sketching at a poetry reading…
My post on cultivating creative cohorts in your community…
Or, my recent collection of haiku (plus sketchbook spread) from my recent visit to Kentucky.
Thank you for reading! If you are new here…
I write on occasion about creative experiences in my life, specifically intersections of art, poetry, and community. I also write about the Nakivale Young Talent Community, a youth refugee-led artist collective in Nakivale Refugee Settlement in Uganda. The Refugee Artist Support Circle is a separate section of The Creative Convergence; all paid subs to this publication benefit the artists with supplies, food, and fresh water.
Frequently, I will complete a book and my unspoken review is, “I could have written this story in one page”.
I don't think about my writing style. It's been described by others as, “vivid and concise”.
I've been asked to add more details. I balk.
It seems superfluous to me.
I love your shortest version of the poem.
Really inspiring to see your whittling down process. The shape emerges like when carving a sculpture.