Ahrting in Public
It's uncomfortable and rewarding
I spent some time this past Saturday at a coffee shop with the goal of getting a good latte and the hope of finding some subjects to draw. It wasn’t particularly enjoyable. The latte was fine. But, my drawing experience was disappointing. I couldn’t get anyone’s likeness. Patrons changed positions, moved, or left.
Frustrated, I moved on to the local bookstore with the intent of dropping $50 on books that I will hopefully read. Andover Bookstore is the oldest still-operating independent bookstore in the United States. Great place (albeit incredibly tiny; I miss their old location where they had so many rooms and books to explore!) to celebrate Indie Bookstore Day. I walked in and immediately realized it was a poetry reading! The main room was full of chairs (filled with people) oriented to the fireplace where a local poet - Heather Corbally Bryant - from Wellesley College was reading her poetry.
Intrigued, I decided to stand in the back and listen. I like poetry, but I’m not someone who actively reads it or seeks it out. After just a few minutes (maybe even one?) I realized it was a perfect drawing opportunity. I discreetly opened up my bag and grabbed whatever drawing tool came out first (a blue ball point pen) and my sketchbook. I started drawing the poet, scratching out her likeness over at least a half hour of her reading from her poetry (and all the way into the Q&A). I didn’t mean for anyone to see it (it’s ballpoint pen…!), but I must admit I came to that realization that it was very possible I would be found scratching out her likeness early on.
A bookstore employee, the one who had greeted me at the door, was the one to notice. She was excited and I was shy. She asked to take a picture of what I drew once I was done and encouraged me to share with the poet afterwards. I told her I would post it to Facebook and Instagram and tag the bookstore. I surprised myself with that willingness, but the drawing turned out better than I expected and I felt appreciative of the opportunity. After all, it was their gig and I was benefiting.
Poet Heather Corbally Bryant, reading from The Coffin Makers. 1
After Heather’s poetry reading and the Q&A was finished, I browsed and grabbed a few books to purchase. On my way out, not having stopped by to say anything to the poet, I thanked the bookstore employee for her graphic novel recommendation (I purchased Kristen Radtke’s Imagine Wanting Only This). She encouraged me to share the picture I drew of the poet. I hesitated as I was embarrassed. But, I changed my mind and agreed to share.
The bookstore employee effortlessly led the way and excused herself as she interrupted a conversation the poet was having with someone. I was introduced. I opened my book. I showed her the picture. Gulp, I was nervous. Then, there was a slowed down moment in time where she, the person who was the subject of my blue ballpoint pen drawing, recognized herself (phew!). And, then, there was a moment where I think we both felt mutual appreciation and connection. We both were smiling and there were sighs and comments, which naturally boosted my ego. A deeper emotion was piqued under that boost when she said “I’ve never been drawn before.” Wow. Why did this feel so profound to me?
Well, maybe because I too haven’t ever been drawn by anyone before. But, wait, that’s not true. I have been drawn by my late grandfather many times. My grandfather, Robert V. Enlow (or just Bob for short) was a very gregarious and talented artist (oils primarily) and a hack cartoonist. Every birthday and often during holidays, I would get a hand drawn card where I was usually featured doing one of my usual things (piano or trombone, soccer, dance, or just playing with pets or my sister). I would recognize myself and my family easily.
From a 1984 Christmas Chronicle by my grandfather Robert Vincent Enlow.
Seeing myself in these drawings made me feel SO good. Why? I think it’s because I felt noticed. Someone I cared about NOTICED… me! That I existed. And, they took the time to LOOK at me, to explore my countenance, my gestures, my being.
Maybe this was part of the magic I felt between the poet and me. This wasn’t a typical transaction where I drew her (with her knowing and/or asking for it) and then showed her the outcome. No. Rather, I had noticed her while she was doing something meaningful to her, sharing her creations - reading her poems out loud, in public, to an audience (which, to me, takes a bunch of courage!). And, I, unbeknownst to her, drew her while she was doing this meaningful act. That element of surprise was the icing on the feeling cake. While I was showing her the drawing, she said (paraphrased): “I saw you back there with your notebook and I thought you were taking notes.” Yes, the surprise was part of the recipe.
Ultimately, I felt like she (and the bookstore) gave me something priceless that day. I got the chance to draw a poet who, while I was drawing her, was reading some pretty profound and personal content. I was drawing her in a somewhat vulnerable moment and that impacted me as I drew. And, I think I gave her something back. I still don’t know exactly what it was that I gave back other than a photo of the actual picture. But it was something. A feeling, a connection, an unexpected moment of creative exchange.
After this experience, I resolved that drawing people who are reading or presenting is likely better practice for me than coffee shop shenanigans. I also realized that drawing someone while they share their own creative output (a book or their poetry) enhances my own experience of drawing. I’m now looking for more author readings at bookstores and libraries. Drawing authors reading their works is an interesting and unexpected twist and a new way to enjoy my love for words/books and drawing/art.
Happy Independent Bookstore Day! And, miss you Pop-Pop!
Another from the Christmas Chronicle of 1984. That’s me in the bathrobe and the penciled in halo (an afterthought?).
I’m new to this Substack thing. I don’t post a ton, but when I do, it will be about meaningful things like this.
Heather Corbally Bryant currently lectures in the writing department at Wellesley College. She has composed over 8,000 poems, some of which have appeared in her published books. She writes a poem a day! Visit her website PLEASE at https://heathercorballybryant.com/
What a beautiful story. I'm so glad you took the chance and shared your drawing with the poet. ❤️
This is such a wonderful recounting of the experience, Emily. I am glad the poet was so appreciative and receptive, too. I think there is a lot to the idea that you captured something about her because you were capturing her doing something meaningful to her. I really love the history of your grandfather’s drawings, too. That’s so cool, and how special to have those and to have grown up with art being an everyday happening like that. (I just read Seek You by Kristen Radtke. I put the other one on hold just now. I think I might have had it out before, based on the cover. But it’s not ringing a bell. Maybe I did and just didn’t ever get to it.)